Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
