and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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