Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
