it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
