3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
