I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
