well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
