He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
