PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
