i permit you to call me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just had sex on a roof
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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