peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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