gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
