Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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