OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize