I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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