How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
