yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
