I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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