Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
