nut hugger
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
