Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need water and some morals
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
