so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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