I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
