I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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