Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
