rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
