Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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