this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize