we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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