first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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