I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize