I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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