Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Terrible idea I love it
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
