i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i dont even know how to be here
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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