An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
