Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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