I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
