My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
