So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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