i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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