I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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