you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
