Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
