He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
