I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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