she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
