Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
