I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
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That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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