The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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