oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize