did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
