My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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