And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
