"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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