Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My hand turned me down
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
