It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
