We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
sex in a hospital.. check
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This toilet bowl is my home.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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