The maid of honor just puked.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
