Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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