Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
