Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
